Things I Learned Today

1. Old people are old and wise and you should listen to them. No matter how old you are and no matter how old they really are, they have been there, done that, and lived to tell you how not to do it! So listen!

2. All of the problems we think we have are made bigger right between our ears!

3. We should trust ourselves more. We’ve made it this far, why would we go off the deep end now?

4. Fears are big, but we can’t let them take control. When you are loosing your grip on the perch look at #10.

5. One day you may look in the mirror and say; “Damn, I look good, but I’m still sad.” Or we may look in the mirror and say; “Damn I look good!” (I’m not sure what I learned from that, but I remember it…)

6. Jesus Christ heals. At some point He will heal us all. Time may be involved, but we will heal.

7. In the end God will work it all out.

8. When the road ahead is going to be difficult, make sure you are surrounded by supportive, loving people! (Who are awesome and cool and wise!)

9. Good friends are more precious than gold. (Just relearned that one, I already knew it!)

10. It’s all going to be ok. (I relearned that one too. I have to keep relearning that one, but it’s true!)

overwhelmed

One of the most difficult weeks I can ever remember. Feeling totally overwhelmed...

Am I allowed to be honest on here, or is there a blog clause that says I have to pretend everything is ok?

I was talking to someone at church who brought up, letting others crash and burn, or trying to save them from the pain of it.  I said that we all crash and burn at some point, don't we?  This has truly been a crash and burn week for me. 

I wonder how long it will last.

Dear Diary...

I started this day with nothing prepared for Easter Sunday. I'm ending it ready! So happy about that. I was busy today. Obviously had a lot of running around to do. As my Mesa family started posting their pictures of Easter picnic's I kinda got a little sad I wasn't there... But that went away quickly. :)

Tonight we went to a choir concert Kendahl's choir put on. It was really nice. It was a "Dessert Theater". (Get it? Like a dinner theater?). Ken sang a solo from Hairspray. "I can hear the bells". She did a good job!

Tomorrow is ham, funeral potatoes, salad, and rolls. Yum! Loooking forward to a nice Easter Sunday.

a special day

I'm so looking forward to Saturday!!  But I'm starting to have anxiety about it.  It's like the only day to get things done. So WhAt To Do FiRst??  What if we don't get much done at all?  That would stink!  And then there's the charity fund raiser...  Ahhhh, I don't know if anything will get done.  Saturday is stressful and great all at the same time.

Back To The Kids!

I think I'm in love with my kids!  And isn't that great? 
They have been sick. :(  Strep.  That makes me sad. But, it has given me a chance to stay home from work two days this week that I didn't know I would be.  I was so glad!  I got to do dishes and keep the kitchen clean for a few days straight.  That was fun!  Just like a theme park....  I also have made dinner and kinda enjoyed the time in the kitchen. :)  Fun, fun!  Seriously it has been good though.

But, a couple of cool things happened today to make me happy.  First of all I had three of them at the doctors, and I have to say, Thank Heavens for Technology!  I hardly heard a word out of them.  *hehe  They were great, no complaints about the three long hours we were there.  That was nice.  

Next cool thing, I made chicken noodle soup for dinner. Carter had a bowl and then lets out something like... "That was just what I needed. It made me feel better all over. No more sore throat, no more headache!"  That made me feel so good!!  I hardly ever get compliments about dinner.

Last cool thing, Baillie is playing Volleyball with the city and she is LOVING it!  She is so cute!  Tonight she had a game and she stepped up!!  She did great!  She served so good, she got some hits that were awesome and she had a wonderful time.  This is only her second game this year and of her life for that matter!  So cool.

Oh and the last cool thing was that my kids laughed together tonight and enjoyed each other.  They haven't gotten back into a good bed routine after Spring break.  So they can't seem to get to sleep at a decent time, but they were sure happy and fun tonight. 

K, there you go about the awesome ones.  :)

Picture-less in Mesa

I actually took pictures with my phone, but don't have anything to show for it because I don't have a converter to use to post them.  Story of my blog life lately. I don't mind necessarily, but it makes it more boring. Oh well.
I've been considering taking this blog private...  I didn't think I'd ever want to do it, but I have reasons to change my mind. We'll see.

I've been in Mesa for nearly a week. It's been different. I haven't gone out of my way to see friends. Mostly spent time with family. I'm struggling to have a desire to see people, INCLUDING family. 

Things I wish I had pictures of...  That BEAUTIFUL baby!!  What a special baby Savanna is. I can't believe how peaceful she is. She has a way about her, her calm spirit calms those around her. She is just filled with the feelings of peace and love. Yes, she cries and gets tired, but you can see her little self trying to be "good" anyway. What a sweety.

Grandma. I would come here just to see her! I love her. It's hard to see her mind going. If you are with her for a short while you may think she is totally normal, but if you spend a little more time with her you will notice she starts asking you something she just asked you about, and then she'll do it again and again.  She asks repeatedly, "did I hug you already?"  I went to see her on Wednesday, but she didn't remember the next day that I had been over. She can't remember one day to the next on a lot of things. There's not much to talk about, but she wants to talk. She talks of being homesick, but I don't know if she really knows what she's homesick for. It's hard for my heart to see. It feels like an ache that I can't relieve.  I miss her!!!!!!  I miss her mind!!!  I love her!!!

All the kids, cousins, have been so great to each other. They are cute and sweet and wonderful.  I could always take tons of pictures of them.

It's been fun here, but some depression in me has felt heavy. Not fun..  I miss our home, I'm ready to be there.

Here We Go

It's time I guess. I'm just going to get it out there. There comes a time in every large person's life when you have to look at really tough things. Well, I've been looking, and I've come to the decision that I am going to have gastric bypass surgery. I know, I know, everyone has an opinion about the idea, and that's ok. I'm even open to you sharing if you'd like. And I hope that there is a time I can share all my thought processes and reasonings right back.

It took a lot of time, education, hurt, and health for me to come to the decision. But I have gotten there, and I'm excited!! I am not nervous or afraid. I only have high hopes for the process. I do not expect this to be an "easy way out", neither do I expect the out come to be particularly pretty. But I hope for a long healthy life! I hope for energy and enthusiasm. I hope for an all around positive, difficult, awesome, scary, hard, great outcome!

Now, bummer that haven't blogged in a while and this is all you are getting, but, this is all you are getting. Tomorrow maybe I'll go back to telling you how great my kids are and shareing all the cool things they are doing again. But for today it's about me and life changing, drastic, necessary decisions.

Smiles everyone! (Remember that guy from Fantasy Island?) :)

Beautiful Day

A picture is worth a thousand words. Since I'm blogging from the iPad I dont have one, but I wish I did. It would be of my friend Lyndi, with a huge smile on her face. Today she was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

Her faith and her willingness astound me! Her humility and her testimony inspire me. She is a beautiful soul! I am a better person becaus of my association with her! Her spirit lifts me!

Lyndi's life has been anything except smooth sailing. I can not think of a person I have met who has trials like hers. She grew up in conditions that a child should never experience. She was disowned by her family many, many years ago. She has no family other than her own biological chidren and step children. Yet, Lyndi is soft, is aware of beauty around her and is totally in tune with the spirit.

Today she said, "I am resolute! I have no doubt that what I am doing is the right thing." I am so blessed to be her friend!