Eight months ago I has gastric bypass surgery. I made the decision long before that and it took what seemed like a life time for it to come to fruition. Now I'm looking at it from the view of 130 pounds lighter. It's been an interesting, tough, amazing, incredible eight months. It's kind of a miracle if you ask me!
I'm healthy. I eat healthy foods. I try to stick with things I know are going to increase my strength and health. Protein shakes, greek yogurt, fruit and hopefully vegetables. I eat a lot of nuts, and chicken. I am doing my best. I also take my vitamins nearly every day. I want to do that forever so I can keep my bone density (and every other good thing vitamins do for you). I track pretty much everything that goes into my mouth. That's not to say I don't eat unhealthy things. Because for sure I do. Like last night for instance... the left over Easter chocolate was calling my name. I tracked every bite and ate about 430 calories of junk! So you see, it's not all fun and games. I do my best and sometimes I fall short. I am trying though and I am getting back on track when I loose my way.
I move a lot! My goal is to walk every morning with a partner, (I guess alone would work too, but it's much better with a partner!) Right now we do about 4 miles a day. There are days we don't go, but we celebrate every day we do go!! I have also joined a gym. I try to be in the gym at least 4 days a week. Sometimes it's for a one hour class. On Mondays I do two classes back to back. And a couple days a week I don't go at all. But I'm super grateful for the gym and my ability to go. (And I really enjoy the classes... even when I'm really tired!)
My body has been wonderful and has responded to the efforts. I am grateful that I have the energy to do what I am doing. Without clothing my body isn't very amazing... :) I have lots of loose skin, and still some remaining fat pockets throughout that skin. It's kinda yuck... But I know I am building muscle and when the clothes are on I don't think it looks all that bad.
I'm not sure what my weight loss goals are for myself. I thought I wanted to loose exactly half of what I was. That would mean I would loose 153 and weigh 153. But from where I am today that would mean loosing another 24 pounds. I think my body can definitely sustain that, but I wonder what people would think. (Already people are commenting that I can't loose any more, and oh my goodness, "you are getting too skinny". But really, they don't know my body and they don't know where I'm at.) On a healthy weight chart it says that for a person my height I could weigh
5'9"
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129-142
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139-153
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149-170
|
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that is the numbers for a "small frame", medium frame, and large frame. I don't know what frame I am, but let's suppose I'm a medium frame (although I tend to think I am probably large framed) the high weight is right where I want to land... 153. I do think that it would take a while for me to get there. I don't think I would drop the weight quickly or without a lot of effort. But I could still be healthy and weigh 153. With that said, I could also be perfect at 165 or 170. Actually, I am really perfect at 180 or 190 or wherever I am!! I don't think it matters much. I'll just keep eating healthy and working out. That's what matters most.
The next question is how has this effected my family? And my answer is, I don't know. No one talks about it much. I don't want to bring it up or sound fixated on it. So I don't. I guess maybe I should a time or two. Just to make sure everyone is ok with everything. They all know my proetin shakes are precious around our house and there are always greek yogurts in the fridge! :)
So that's my story as I begin my 9th month since drastic life changes. I hope it is an eternity of change for me. I hope I continue to make healthy choices and keep myself free from disease and hurt that weight carries with it! I understand it well. I lived it and I continue to battle the mental fight of loving and desiring food, healthy or not so healthy!
Six years ago I looked into the surgery and I knew it wasn't for me. I watched my sisters and others as they had success and found some peace from carrying extra weight. But still it wasn't a choice I was willing to make. When I was diagnosed with diabetes I felt like I had no other choice. I obviously couldn't do it on my own. I felt like a failure. I felt like surgery would mean I had given in to the ultimate failure. But I had no choice except to embrace it. I wish I could of lost weight without surgery, but I know that would never have happened. And I couldn't hope or wish it to be reality.
Today I am ever grateful that I have this tool and that I was able to rely on it for a bit of the focus or strength I didn't have inside myself before. I have taken advantage of all the tool has offered. (I am keenly aware that it is only a tool and that I could easily eat myself right past it, and that is why I am so vigilant about my daily calorie intake.) I feel blessed and grateful.
