The last grandma time??

Tomorrow I go down to Long Beach to be with my Grandma for what may possibly be the last time. Melanie is coming with me. Then later tomorrow after we leave her son and his wife are coming from Arizona and then in the next two weeks the rest of her children will converge on the great state of California... I know their intentions, they will have Grandma back in Mesa when they all leave. They won't leave without her. I am sure quite sure of that. It's probably for the best as far as her health and her loneliness is concerned, so I guess it's OK, but I am sad and I feel like it is a final thing for me. Not a final time to see her, but a final time to spend taking care of her. I have loved it so much. I have enjoyed her and even though fitting it in every week or every other week is sometimes tough, I love it. I will miss her in my life on what has been a pretty consistent basis for the past three years. She is my friend and she fills so many spots in my heart. I am a better person for having been able to be near her. What a blessing it has been to me. I don't want to loose the opportunity I have been blessed with to be with her. But life is constantly changing, I guess I have to get used to it.
I'll miss you so much Grandma. I love you.

10 days ago

Ten days ago I wrote this really sweet post. Ten days ago I felt like I could't wait to blog some more. Ten days ago I cooked the "last family supper"... Nine days ago my kitchen was demolished. Nine days ago I stopped washing dishes. Nine days ago I stopped sweeping the floor. Nine days ago we started eating only on paper and plastic! Nine days ago I lost everything that was familiar about the heart of the home!

I think it will be at least 20 days till my new kitchen is useable. I hope that is a good number. I hope it isn't more. But could be...

It's a great blessing to be able too have a new kitchen, but it is also very out putting, and difficult. I'm focusing on the positive... be happy! I need running water in something other than the one bathroom!!

Hope you are all having a functional week!

Sunday Sweetness

The best thing that happened all day happened just as the closing song of Sacrament meeting was near it's end. During the song I asked Brodric, who had been clingy through the whole meeting, to please sit down on the bench. His sister had taken his seat while he enjoyed jumping around on my lap. So when I asked him to sit on the bench during the closing song he wasn't happy. He crawled under the bench in front of us and laid his head on his older sister's sunday bag. That's when I noticed it, I thought I saw his little mouth moving to the music. Could that be? Was my stubbern, sweet, head strong little boy singing the hymn? As I looked a littler closer to check it out my heart warmed. He was, he was singing the hymn! His little lips forming the words, "Lord, I would follow Thee."

I miss my blog!

I miss blogging. I woke up early this Saturday morning because my little love bug (Brodric) had a lot to say to me! He loves to come climb in bed with us every morning to get warm, even tho ours is the coldest room in the house right now because it has tons of holes to the outside in it! He just talked and talked and I tried to keep up with little responses like "uuu huuu" and "oh", and even a few "really?"'s! He is sweet! So since I was up I started reading blogs from my phone. If the Blackberry Storm is good for anything it is reading blogs! It is the perfect size, when turned sideways, to fit a blog nice and neat in it! So I got cought up on everyone's blogs, and in the process cought the blog fever again! I miss it.

I actually wrote stuff last week but never posted it because by the time I was done writing I had to go to bed and put a pillow over my head just to stay sane... You will understand why when you read it.

So here is the blog from last week.

Have you ever been somewhere so loud all you can hear is your own thoughts?
As I sit here at the computer the kids are outside playing and the jack hammer is about 40 feet away, I am left with the thoughts in my head and my pounding of the hammer against the concrete. If anyone were to yell, or the phone would ring or the cat was scratching at the door, it would be forever lost in all consuming hammer. It’s kind of comforting in a way. The worries of things seem to get lost in it!

I’ve had a interesting month and a half. I can’t seem to get my thoughts together enough to post anything of value to this little blog of mine. I want to blog and I have moments, but they vanish quickly at night when I’m tired or when something else creeps in and steals away the thought.

The things that consume my time rarely change. The things that consume my thoughts don’t change much either. I am left with day to day mundane. Maybe that’s why there’s been less posts lately. To post about the mundane isn’t much fun. Like this…

*I am living in close quarters with the other 5 people in my house as we endure the interesting day to day changes in our little casa. We wash dishes together because the dishwasher has been broken for months, we eat on half a table in the living room because the kitchen is half size while the contractors work, we all share a bathroom, one shower and one toilet because there is dirt and holes in the skeleton of a bathroom that is the master bath…

*I am working too much and my children are starting to give me severe guilt trips over that. They want me home! (I want to be home!) I don’t work out enough although I want to really bad… And…

*I don’t go anywhere else unless I have to! You know, I used to love shopping but now it just means the bank account will show less green if I go, so I don’t really want to as much! I need to hang on to the green so I can finish up the things in this home.

Now, if I were to write about the “random” (as my kids say all too often), what could I tell you... Well…

~I got three new watches this month. I only wanted one, but the three were less than the one and I like them all! Happy Anniversary Billie…
~I am stressed about the cats spraying on my new kitchen when it is put in…
~I am obsessed with this remodel…
Ok see… It starts getting less random as I go on, always back to the remodel!

Oh well, I tried! I guess there will just be less Billieness until this remodel is done! Was there any Billieness before? Who knows, but there is surely less now! Oh where oh where has the Billieness gone? Oh where oh where can it be???

P.S. this is a sneak peak at my new island! I’m in love!



So, I have a whole new blog prepaired for tonight... tune in again next time!