So blessed!

My favorite show lately is "Life in the ER". I'ts not reinactments, it's the real deal and the real blood and gore of the ER, and I love it! Tonight I watched one with an 87 year old lady who had a stroke. I just want to say -- "I LOVE old people!" I really do and I would be a good care taker for the old! Maybe someday that will be my calling.

As Scott and I were rummaging through the DVR I stopped on a 20/20 from last week a few days after the Haiti quake. I was heart broken over the children of Haiti. From what I understood there was a horrible problem with orphans before the quake, and now, oh my goodness, can you imagine? During the viewing of the mess in Haiti and watching the children who are devistated, my 6 year old son called me into his room. He said, "could you sing me the angel song?" I hope he couldn't hear the TV, but he was feeling something, so I sang the angel song. Looking around the boys room and seeing everything we are blessed with made me want to burst! I wanted to fill the room with beds with little hatian children in them! I thought to Baillie's room and how there is only one bed in there. There could be a couple of bunk beds giving children a warm, soft place to feel loved. I might be crazy, but just to feed curosity, I am going to look at the web sites and see what's up with adopting those children. NO, I'm not going to run off and adopt, but looking can't hurt, right?

We are really SOOOOOOOOOOO blessed to live in America! With all the messed up things our country is dealing with, we are still SO lucky! I want to share this feeling with my children and help them to know their blessings.

God is good, and I know he loves those people in Haiti and I know he will comfort their pain.

S.O.S.

Oh, I hate to write on here stuff that might not be so positive, but here I go... (that was a little warning, so don't blame me if you aren't uplifted at all!) I have lived the past year with more positive thoughts and wonderful outlooks than ever before. The sun shines in my heart 90% of the time. But when it happens now, the same 'ol sutff can still get me down. When it happens I think I can smile it away or pray it away or something, but it seems to find a way to rear it's ugly head...

Today we went to the Temple as a partnership, including Taft and Nikki. It's an hour drive, the rain was pouring down, I was really tired, and while I really wanted to go, a part of me totally didn't want to go. I think several of us may have been feeling the same way, but we went anyway! And as you all know, it was worth it in the end. While in the Temple I feel peaceful, calm, and ok, and that's how it's supposed to be. But soon after leaving the Temple grounds it all came back. I'ts not horrible or anything. I can still put on a pretend smile and go about my day, but hanging just out of sight is this looming thing, bigger than I am... I know it's not too big for God. I leanred that on Veggie Tales, :) but it's bigger than me and apparently my faith isn't kicking in like it needs to.

So that's my story and it's not going to end with, "it was all better in the end", this time. Because I continue to fight my deamons and I continue to struggle here and there. Someday I'll overcome the challenges that linger in my mind. Tomorrow I hope to wake with a different outlook. But tonight I am going to bed early.

Get to work!

Oh golly, I should so be asleep!!! But i just wanted to get on for a second and just mention what we did today. We cleaned... Nothing new! We worked in the garage to try to get some sense of organization about it. After several hours it was nice to see some progress. Scott and I work really well together and after we had a little blow up, we spent the rest of the time happy and helping each other. I have a good husband.

I want to get organized more so that I can focus on the things that make me really happy. I really want a garden this year! I missed my garden last year. I actually want a bigger garden than I had last time. So, it's going to take a lot of work. We still have left overs (junk) around from the remodel! (Does anyone know where I can take old appliances to get rid of them?) I'm going to try to spend more time working on "stuff"...

I just wanted to say that.

new year, new goals and friendship

I'm all about the new year goal stuff! I am excited for a new year to begin and all the things we have to look forward to. In FHE tonight we set goals and one that Scott brought up was to have fun together! I loved that! I hope to have a lot of fun with our family this year and to find ways to celebrate just being a family. I wish I had a good picture to post, I'll work on that! (My computer screen has died, so I can't see anything on it. Otherwise I would put up some family photos we took.)

I am planning on useing this blog more, to keep a record of our family. In 2008 I blogged a lot and as 2009 whizzed past me my posts have gotten fewer and fewer! So for 2010 I plan on keeping up better, not only for those who will be looking to see what we're up to, but also for my own benefit. My family record as well as thoughts and feelings.

Tonight I am wanting to share my grattitude for friends in my life who love me inspite of myself. People who are examples of selflessness, who forgive freely and love unconditionally! My heart is expanding because of you! Friendship is rare and precious and yours is not going wasted.