Pinteresting...

I've become a Pinterest addict! It's true. I love finding cool stuff, putting it on boards and using the ideas! Today I cooled chicken stroganoff tonight, a recipe I got off of pinterst. It turned out so yummy!! Well, I only had a tiny bit, but still, it was Yum! There are tons of craft things I want to do from there too! I hope someday in my life I find time to relax by doing crafting.

Today on Facebook there were some really cool pictures of Halloween things that I wanted to pin, but I don't know how to do it unless it is on a blog. So I'm going to put them on here so I can pin them. hehe! So don't mind these pictures unless you want to pin them!

Fall Ahead

I thought it was here this past weekend - Fall!
Apparently I was wrong. The heat returned!
I love Fall almost as much as I love Spring. I can't wait for the cool weather, the smells, the early evenings. There are so many things about it to love!
The only sad thing about fall is that it goes by so quickly!!
Halloween comes and you think your there, right in the middle of it, but then it is GONE! How does that happen.
I'm not really sure when Fall turns into Winter, but at some point you have to stop wearing earth toned clothing and all of a sudden it's red's and black. How does it happen?
I think I'll just have to start Fall before it really cools off.

{Another thing to look forward to with Fall is that Kendahl will hopefully come home for Thanksgiving! That's a awesome thing. I miss her like crazy. She lost her phone so there was a week or so there that I couldn't communicate with her because she wouldn't email... And, even though I annoy her I hope she is looking forward to it too. }

BYU Football

BYU football with my boy. 

 Texted the BYU student daughter to see if she was watching it too! Yep!

  Nice Saturday evening while everyone else is in Seattle.  

I miss my family who's gone!!

I'm sorry, Back to Reality and Motherhood

In an effort to safe the news of the Noh's, I started another blog to ramble on about that surgery stuff so it doesn't interfere with what's really important here! If you're at all interested, you can read about it at: http://www.icanonlydoit.blogspot.com/  I'll share everything there, gory or not. :D  So beware!

Now, I have to talk about being a mom.  Yesterday was a holiday and Kendahl told me she had waited up till 3 in the morning for her cousins to come on their way home from AZ.  They were bringing some important stuff she needed.  She said she didn't go to sleep because she was worried she would not wake up when they actually got there. So, being the worrier and control freak that I am I was worried that if she didn't get to bed early last night that she would be dead tired for classes today and she might not wake up in time! Last night... I seriously... messaged her and told her she better go to bed early!  Like I have any control over what she does 10 hours away!  Then I seriously considered calling her this morning to make sure she was awake!!  I didn't! Don't worry! 

When does a mom stop being a mom? How does one let go, anyway?

I miss carbs...

Sorry, but every post for a while will probably be about this damn surgery!  Just a friendly warning. :) 

Boy, do I miss crackers and bread and anything else I can actually chew with my teeth! Chips would be nice.  It's not like I had a plethora of them before... well, maybe I did.  But I'll tell you what, I really miss it now.  All of it! Eating is nice. 

But! I'm doing my best to combat it. I'm enjoying smells a lot more... Like this morning when I woke to the smell of bacon...  Yaaaa, it's hard.

I usually tell people who are going on a drastic diet how bad it is for them. So today I was thinking and realizing that I've been eating like 300 calories a day... or something like that, maybe. How am I not dead?  Well, as long as I drink water, the doc says that for a while my body takes it's calories from my fat!  Go ahead body, take those calories why don't you?!

I have been feeling amazingly good the past 4 days. So today I thought I could vacuum the floor because the kids did a really good job of cleaning. Probably not such a good idea. Just vacuuming the floor wiped me out!! I'm talking like I was tired!  Hmmm, think it's cause I'm only consuming 300 calories? (I don't know, but the instructions from surgery specifically say not to vacuum... I'm still only 5 days out of surgery.) Craziness, right?  Don't worry, it will all start to even out! Soon I'll add things to my diet and be able to eat better.  Eggs are what I am really looking forward to!  And Beans!  Have I already mentioned that?  :)

In the beginning...

It's over! The surgery went well and it's been almost 4 - 24 hour periods since I had surgery.  It seems like a couple of weeks ago.  And that's my only problem... patience!

I am feeling well, maybe too well. Can someone coming out of surgery ever feel too well?  Probably not. Felling well is a good thing. Since the second day I haven't taken any pain medication. The nurse in the hospital got after me about that, but I wouldn't say I have too much pain.  I would say I have discomfort. I'm not used to the feelings of discomfort in my belly. I don't know where to place them in my mind. It's not sore muscles, it's not heart burn, it's not nausea. It's like nothing I've ever felt before, so it's a bit confusing to my brain. My guts feel heavy. Like a rock. There are pains like it's going to break away if I don't hold onto it. It's just all new.

So my body feels strong and good, my brain feels strong and good, my belly is the only thing that doesn't. I sorta wished I was more "out of it" like most people who just had surgery, because then I could sleep more, relax more, take it easy.  But I guess that's not how my brain works. I want to forget I had surgery and move on... Probably not the best idea!  So I have to keep slowing myself and my thoughts down! Oh man, maybe that's what the pain meds do for you!!  What was I thinking, I should of been taking pain meds all along to put me into lala land more!  Um Ya!...  Oh well. I can't justify it when I really don't think I need it. But in hindsight, I may have Scott go fill that prescription... ;)

Eating after gastric bypass surgery... Well, we really can't call it eating. It's more like drinking, or sipping from a spoon. There are very few things I can have right now. They include, WATER, broth, sugar free jello, sugar free Popsicles, 100% juice, and cream soups with no chunks and protein shakes.  I like the cream of chicken soup the most. That's the only thing that feels like I'm really eating. For some reason I haven't made a good protein shake yet!  I have to do that soon!!

The whole mental part starts from the beginning!  I look at food and I want it and I say to myself, "what have I done?" "how will I make it NOT EATING for a LONG time?" It's kind of overwhelming. So I try to focus on only the foods I'm allowed to have and push everything else out of my brain! In time it won't be so bad and I will be able to enjoy regular foods in small portions! That's what I want!!  That time will come.  But really, I am IMPATIENT! That's something I'll have to really work on!

It's been so soon since the surgery that I can't really say yet that it was the best option. Time will tell. Before surgery I thought it was the best option. Looking at Melanie and her experience with it, I thought it was the best option. I really hope to take the tool (surgery) and use it to my best advantage! Try to focus on the healthy ways of eating and progressing through this next year and really make it work for me.

I'm not sure why weight has to be a challenge. All of this, because I can't control my eating habits on my own? It sounds crazy. And sometimes it truly feels crazy. But what I know is that I had to make a decision for me. I had to make the best decision for my situation. Could I have gone on the Biggest Looser and lost weight? No doubt. Could I have successfully (for a long term) lost weight on my own? I don't think so. Is this the answer to all the problems in my life? No.  But it is the answer right now for me to try to find health. Last night I was feeling well enough to go to my niece's baptism. I saw a friend there who had obviously lost weight. In my freshly recovering state of post op surgery to loose weight, I say to her, "wow, you look really good, what have you been doing?"
She says, "I'm just eating smaller portions and I cut out blah blah blah..."
And I feel like a damn fool who just went and cut up her stomach to have similar results...  But then I get back into myself and stop worrying about the world and I think, "Billie, you are the only one who knows your particular challenges! You know what you need and you know how you work!  Don't look back! Don't be discouraged by anyone or anything! Don't allow someone else's story to derail what you are doing!  It's going to be ok. In the end, what I have chosen is for me is the path I am on, and I will make it work for me."  5-6 years ago I would have told anyone and everyone, "I'm not having that damn surgery!  No way!" But things change I guess. And after all that I have to say, I am excited about the opportunities that lie ahead.     It's all going to work out! Life and challenges and trials and successes are all so funny! Aren't they? I don't really get it sometimes, but I'm just taking the ride anyway!