So blessed!

My favorite show lately is "Life in the ER". I'ts not reinactments, it's the real deal and the real blood and gore of the ER, and I love it! Tonight I watched one with an 87 year old lady who had a stroke. I just want to say -- "I LOVE old people!" I really do and I would be a good care taker for the old! Maybe someday that will be my calling.

As Scott and I were rummaging through the DVR I stopped on a 20/20 from last week a few days after the Haiti quake. I was heart broken over the children of Haiti. From what I understood there was a horrible problem with orphans before the quake, and now, oh my goodness, can you imagine? During the viewing of the mess in Haiti and watching the children who are devistated, my 6 year old son called me into his room. He said, "could you sing me the angel song?" I hope he couldn't hear the TV, but he was feeling something, so I sang the angel song. Looking around the boys room and seeing everything we are blessed with made me want to burst! I wanted to fill the room with beds with little hatian children in them! I thought to Baillie's room and how there is only one bed in there. There could be a couple of bunk beds giving children a warm, soft place to feel loved. I might be crazy, but just to feed curosity, I am going to look at the web sites and see what's up with adopting those children. NO, I'm not going to run off and adopt, but looking can't hurt, right?

We are really SOOOOOOOOOOO blessed to live in America! With all the messed up things our country is dealing with, we are still SO lucky! I want to share this feeling with my children and help them to know their blessings.

God is good, and I know he loves those people in Haiti and I know he will comfort their pain.

S.O.S.

Oh, I hate to write on here stuff that might not be so positive, but here I go... (that was a little warning, so don't blame me if you aren't uplifted at all!) I have lived the past year with more positive thoughts and wonderful outlooks than ever before. The sun shines in my heart 90% of the time. But when it happens now, the same 'ol sutff can still get me down. When it happens I think I can smile it away or pray it away or something, but it seems to find a way to rear it's ugly head...

Today we went to the Temple as a partnership, including Taft and Nikki. It's an hour drive, the rain was pouring down, I was really tired, and while I really wanted to go, a part of me totally didn't want to go. I think several of us may have been feeling the same way, but we went anyway! And as you all know, it was worth it in the end. While in the Temple I feel peaceful, calm, and ok, and that's how it's supposed to be. But soon after leaving the Temple grounds it all came back. I'ts not horrible or anything. I can still put on a pretend smile and go about my day, but hanging just out of sight is this looming thing, bigger than I am... I know it's not too big for God. I leanred that on Veggie Tales, :) but it's bigger than me and apparently my faith isn't kicking in like it needs to.

So that's my story and it's not going to end with, "it was all better in the end", this time. Because I continue to fight my deamons and I continue to struggle here and there. Someday I'll overcome the challenges that linger in my mind. Tomorrow I hope to wake with a different outlook. But tonight I am going to bed early.

Get to work!

Oh golly, I should so be asleep!!! But i just wanted to get on for a second and just mention what we did today. We cleaned... Nothing new! We worked in the garage to try to get some sense of organization about it. After several hours it was nice to see some progress. Scott and I work really well together and after we had a little blow up, we spent the rest of the time happy and helping each other. I have a good husband.

I want to get organized more so that I can focus on the things that make me really happy. I really want a garden this year! I missed my garden last year. I actually want a bigger garden than I had last time. So, it's going to take a lot of work. We still have left overs (junk) around from the remodel! (Does anyone know where I can take old appliances to get rid of them?) I'm going to try to spend more time working on "stuff"...

I just wanted to say that.

new year, new goals and friendship

I'm all about the new year goal stuff! I am excited for a new year to begin and all the things we have to look forward to. In FHE tonight we set goals and one that Scott brought up was to have fun together! I loved that! I hope to have a lot of fun with our family this year and to find ways to celebrate just being a family. I wish I had a good picture to post, I'll work on that! (My computer screen has died, so I can't see anything on it. Otherwise I would put up some family photos we took.)

I am planning on useing this blog more, to keep a record of our family. In 2008 I blogged a lot and as 2009 whizzed past me my posts have gotten fewer and fewer! So for 2010 I plan on keeping up better, not only for those who will be looking to see what we're up to, but also for my own benefit. My family record as well as thoughts and feelings.

Tonight I am wanting to share my grattitude for friends in my life who love me inspite of myself. People who are examples of selflessness, who forgive freely and love unconditionally! My heart is expanding because of you! Friendship is rare and precious and yours is not going wasted.

Peace

As I sit to write a little note to friends and family this season, I'm contemplating the things that should be included. With blogs, texting, facebook and so many other wonderful technologies it kinda seems that I didn't really even need to write a letter this year. So instead I'll just write a blog of what has been on my mind today.

While I sat in church today reflecting on this season, several times I was reminded of the true holiday spirit. So many wonderful testimonies were born of our Savior and of giving and of slowing down and taking a moment this season to feel peace through all the bustle. And just like a light bulb was turned on, I GOT IT! It sunk in.

And the minute I stepped foot out of the final meeting of the day, the next few hours before I would tuck my little ones into bed, every minute of our time was already spent! Dinner, clean up, Christmas devotional, a little celebration for a lost tooth, dessert, kids to bed then helping Scott prepare for his day tomorrow by assembling 40 little items he could hand out as he goes marketing, writing a couple of notes to friends and then typing my own feelings. And when I look down the calendar towards the end of the week every day goes just that way! No free time! Every day, from morning till night is just packed with things to do or watch or celebrate! It is crazy! With a schedule like that how is anyone to find time to ponder our Savior or his birth or the Spirit that comes with celebrating the miracles of our loving God?

But I got it! I felt the Spirit today! So... during dinner my heart was peaceful, and through out the rest of the evening my heart was light. Like I knew how and like I had done it a million times, I let the spirit of the season in! And it wasn't difficult and it felt natural, like my days are always this peaceful.

So, tomorrow the week begins. Tomorrow I start at the top of several lists and try to just complete something I can cross off. But while I am crossing off list items, I hope I can keep that peace that I felt tonight. The peace of the season of love. The peace that comes from knowing that my Savior was born to save me from my sin. He came to this earth to be an example of the right way. The majority of the things I have to accomplish this week are there because I choose to celebrate His birth. And this year as hectic as it may get I am going to choose to feel His peace.

Merry Christmas

November... Really?

Brain check... I can't believe we are already significantly into November! Time passage is like a mystery. I wish I could slow it down.

It never fails, every year, that as soon as October hits it's all like a blurrrrrr! Week after week the days are filled, the weekends are gone, no time to do anything other than what must be done! This year is not different.

October brought the annual beach trip, and with it, food planning, packing, cleaning the trailer, more packing and then being gone for a week! This doesn't seem like it could be a chore and well... it's not! It is always worth every moment of preperation! The only draw back to the beach trip is that the week comes and is gone before I know it.

And then woulnd't you know it, the moment we get home it is massive costume creation time! My kids are silly, they think the costume has to be home made and they think I can just whip anything up in a split second... well, I wish I were that good... But I relied on the thrift store this year and my rudementary sewing skills were put to the test once again. It all came together just in time for Halloween. Ahhh, the preperation has paid off... I think I'll get a rest.

NOT! Halloween backs right into November, and a birthday! And this year it was a biggie! I didn't even get a chance to take a breath before November slaped me in the face. Then it was big preperations for a big party. Kendahl's Sweet 16 birthday. I felt like I had it all planned and taken care of, and actually I kinda did! (notice my arm twisted, attempting the pat on the back... OUCH!) It was a GREAT party and Kendahl was all smiles! There was some concern about the 90 invitations that went out, but in the end the perfect amount of guests were there... about half showed up! I figured that was a great number!! Everyone played, ate, talked, danced, played some more and seemed to really enjoy themselves! Not a single mishap that I can think of. What more can I ask for? My baby (who happens to be all grown up) was happy!

Now as we are just feeling the release of pressure from the party being over, this weekend we have the big Shenanigans production that the girls have been working on for months! So many hours will be put in for that this week as the final touches are done. Thankfully the hours aren't put in by me so much. All I really have to do is be the taxi driver to get them where they need to be. Cake... But the girls will be working hard! They get off the bus and rush off to practice. Bless their little hearts!

If you thought it was going to end there, think again. The next weekend we have Vally of Fire Marathon (in Nevada) where we are all going to be volunteers (and we're even going to attempt to walk the 10k...), the week after that we are going to be in Williams and Mesa for Thanksgiving. And then... BAM... it's December! I won't bore you with the to do's of December yet, but when have you ever heard of a December that wasn't just filled to the brim??? I know!

Sometimes sleep is like gold! Gratefully I am excitd for all the events! I may be running on empty, but I will have a smile on my face while I am doing it! I hope evereyone else is enjoying the rushings around and the things to get done! Don't forget to be grateful and smile!!!

Kendahl is sweet and 16

16 years ago today, we were blessed with a sweet baby girl! I was so excited and at the same time so scared! I wasn't sure I was even fit to be a mother, I really didn't even know what I was doing.

Today on her 16th birthday I am so proud to be her mother. She is a sweet, beautiful young woman. She is smart and has a good heart. She was blessed with quite a determined spirit, and while she seems to know where she's headed, sometimes I'm not quite sure where that might be, but I am grateful none the less.

I am truely blessed to be Kendahl's mother.

sleep is a wonderful thing

sleep IS a wonderful thing, but when you can't sleep it's fun to read blogs from friends and cousins and strangers and enjoy the funny quirky things they write. i love Laurene's blog because she likes to eat strange things. i like to get out of my own head and get into someone else's.

the things that are swimming through my head are simple... will i ever get packed in time to go camping? have i paid all the bills? how will i accomplish all the things on our crazy schedule tomorrow?

what i do know is that i am looking forward to a few hours of LDS programing on the tele. conference weekend is the best! so for at least a few hours i will have peace and rest while i watch and drink it all in.