Good News

I have a date! A date with Dr. David Suh!

On August 31st my surgery is set to happen. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you haven't read my blog for long. ;)  "This post" will tell you all about it. I'm having gastric bypass surgery. Please read the post if you have any questions. It's a good thing and I've been researching it and studying all about it for a long time. I'm ready.

There is so much I wanted to share and that I have in my mind about it, but I've gone on a "diet" the doctor put me on and I can't think anymore! I went off of caffeine, off of sugar, off of starchy foods (potatoes, pasta, bread, crackers, rice). The reason for the diet is to help me loose a little weight before surgery so that the surgery is more easily preformed. Also it is set to shrink my liver and that helps with the surgery and also the safety of it. The problem with going off of everything at once is that I'm in withdrawal!! I have been so tired! To the point that I really haven't functioned well since I started! Saturday was pretty much shot as far as doing anything was concerned!! I pretty much stayed in bed all day. Today wasn't much better. Toward the end of the day I was able to be up more and help make dinner. I hope tomorrow is even better, I have to work and be productive!!

Some people would ask, "If you can go on a diet in order to have the surgery, why can't you just go on a diet and loose the weight?" Well, I'll tell you. Until you've walked in my shoes.... No, after three days of doing the diet I was asking myself that. My answer is that I know in a short time I am going to have a tool that will help me continue and if I can make it through this short time, I will soon have help. That makes all the difference in the world for me!

I'm still scared. I'm sad. I miss food. We were grocery shopping last night and just walking around the store was hard. Everything in the store is cereal, cookies, bread, etc! Everything! I may have to say a million times how much I miss food. I'm only on day 3 and the thought of if is overwhelming.

My biggest worry is if I can really trust myself. That's pretty much what it's all about! And it's something I have been working on my whole life! No one else matters in this whole weight loss surgery thing. It doesn't matter what people think, it doesn't matter what they say. Lots of people tell me "don't do it!" And it doesn't bother me. It's ok. It's not about them. I guess I need "support", but mostly from myself.  It really comes down to me. That's kinda heavy... no pun intended! :)  (That sounds really self centered but I don't mean it that way. I just mean that it comes down to me trusting myself.  It's hard to explain. I love all the friends and family I have that are there for me and support me!!  It does mean the world. I don't question them or their intentions, but I do question myself... That's all.)

Just a note: if you want to talk about it or ask me about it please email me!!  I would love to have the conversation. Really!  billie7744@gmail.com